Over the holiday break my husband dropped our kids off with my parents so they could all spend some time together. I know. I'm pretty lucky that my parents are willing and able to do this. I think my kids are pretty lucky too. Anyways! My husband came back from his trip with this photo in hand from my Dad:
I present you my parents wedding day on the little island of
Samoa. *Sigh* L'Amore! Not. So. Fast. There won't be any steamy windows in this love story - remember? There's no windows in
this fale!
Mum was 23. Dad was 31. Mum only knew her tiny island of Samoa and lived in the poorest village called Lauli'i. Dad was a Canadian tourist travelling from country to country, working as he went, experiencing new people and places. On a stop off in Samoa, he met my Mum. They have one short date and began writing each other - Dad went to work and live in New Zealand at this time. Short story even shorter, Dad asks my Mum to marry him through one of his letters to her and he arrives in Samoa a few days before the wedding. They get married and he takes her to New Zealand
to have babies I mean, to start a new life together. Two strangers. Now married. You've heard of arranged marriages, right? This is kind of the same thing - except
THEY arranged it!!
To say the least, their "honeymoon" was filled with more "howling at the moon" than "honey". 'Howling' is probably the perfect description as Mum knew very little English and Dad knew even less Samoan. It was a pretty colourful first year of marriage and let's be real...many years after that. Having said this, my Mum always told us kids that Dad was a good provider. Before she arrived with him in New Zealand, he had a house pretty well set-up and she always had food to eat.
Just a week before my kids went to visit their grandparents, my parents celebrated their 43rd wedding anniversary. Their marriage never looked like a steamy romance. Thinking back through the years, their Love looked a lot like this:
Working hard together
Back Rubs
Cooking food for each other or the family
Gardening together
Canning together
Freezing food together
Unwillingly agreeing and being happy afterwards
Caring for four children - right into adulthood
Being there for the four children's school events (sports or music), church events and whatever else was needed
Forgiving one another (most of the time)
Forgetting the times that were not forgiven or rarely bringing them up
Laughing together
Allowing each other to be what they each wanted to be (Mum was a crazy dancer and a highly social person. Dad could barely move on the dance floor and was a highly anti-social person.)
Forgiving each other (yes, I repeated myself because this needed to happen A LOT!)
Going out together to the movies or to eat
Giving each other necessary space
Watching each other's shows - even if they don't like it
Caring for each other
I asked my kids (privately from each other and before reading this post) how they know their Nana and Grandper love each other. Here's what they said,
I remember them kissing - about once a year. On their Anniversary.
Bummer. Now that I'm done writing this blog post, I'm thinking I should've waited for Valentines Day to post it. Oh well! My Mum never grew up with Valentine's Day and when she learned about it, she would say to my Dad, "Valentines Day should be
EVERY day!!" So, Happy 43rd Anniversary Mum & Dad
and Happy Valentines Day!
Love,
daisy
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